Owl said : Talk to us" & I'm going to try, even though I can't stop the tears.
I don't want to lose my family of cool runners or my blogging children!
I have accepted, though heart broken with the result, that I was on a wrong section of the course.
I asked directions & went where I was told to go.
Discussions all week with a race director leave the case with me accepting that I was on the wrong course at some stage, but the director refusing to admit that a marshal could have given a wrong direction. They have to be protected at all costs, I believe now.
This is what leaves me physically sick to the pit of my stomach.
I was taken to task about posting anything at all on the CR message board & told that if I didn't tone it down, they would respond with a post strongly defending the marshals.
If you read my first post, it merely is a response to CRs asking when I would report & asking them to leave this matter in the hands of the directors.
I was shocked that the director said they wouldn't read the message board to see my post because CR are a lot of trouble makers.
I'm embarrassed to be so upset by all this...grieving is what Owl called it & that's
exactly what it is. Put in perspective, which I must do, to what real disaster is : sickness, loss of loved ones, world poverty, war, etc. I feel ashamed to succumb so completely to a disasterous running event.
When I dig myself out of this hole, it will have been all of you who have been responsible for getting me there so I'm going to hold on tightly to your hands & love & if common sense, not emotion, can prevail, I will run, post & blog again.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.........Norma
Thank you so much for sharing that with us chickybabe.
ReplyDeleteWe're all very upset for you as well, and know that you'll be back with a vengeance. Vengeance may include kicking the shins of marshalls as you run past them, but hopefully it will also be to set that race record. :-)
good on you Norma. I knew you were a tough chick!
ReplyDeleteYou can be reassured that you have acted with the utmost integrety. Hold firm in that belief.
ReplyDeleteNo need to feel embarrassed by your emotions...you worked long and hard for this. Your running family is behind you all the way.
LL we love you.
ReplyDeleteNorma, I have been crying with you these past few days. I know how devastating it must be to not have that Australian record you so deserve.
ReplyDeleteThose runs down and up Macquarie Pass, the many long hours on the road since December and the pain you went through to be ready to go for it on Sunday.
I felt so proud to know you when Griffin and I talked to you in the hall after the race. How you'd run your guts out for a victory that should have been yours.
Oh, and you were a great pillion Chickybabe! love xox
No no no! You can't end your blog here!
ReplyDeleteI admire you even with all this fiasco, and it shows that things do screw up for people when they're least expecting it, but it's your preparation that you took that I admire so much more than your finishing result.
Your determination in running alone for hours is second to none, and since I run alone so much it gives me more perspective to see someone doing it so often, and better and longer than me.
LL - I can only imagine how you must feel, but I am crying even thinking about it.
ReplyDeleteYes - put things into perspective, but then look at things from your own point of view - IT HURTS! And it hurts badly. In the overall scheme of things it might be minor, but in your life it is MAJOR! Don't negate or diminish that.
I hope that, with time, love and support you will be back on the road/track/trail/motorbike/aeroplane again soon. I'm counting on meeting you at the Gold Coast - whatever distance I end up managing to run!
love, blessings and thoughts
CL
My heart is warmed by the insight & understanding you have all shown in these comments.
ReplyDeleteI'm relieved that I can say (as CL said) "IT HURTS; and IT HURTS BADLY; and it is MAJOR in my life; and IT HURTS TERRIBLY that I'm running out of years & time to do many more 'repeat performances' of events such as this one.
It does help to get it out & here in 'blogger land' is where I can talk over, even if it be to myself, the various stages of "putting it together" again.
...Norma.
Norma, I just put this up on CR:
ReplyDelete"Luckylegs - I'm gutted about what happened. I can't imagine what you must be feeling at the moment - the closest I've come is finding a course was short after what appeared to be a sensational half marathon time, but that can't compare to the work you'e put in in the last few months in preparation for this event, let along all of your other circumstances.
I've no doubt that once you've had time to process what happened and deal with your reactions, you'll move on and use it for motivation for your next goal. I mean, you were in hospital not long before Canberra last year and you still managed the 50K! You're made of strong stuff, LL, and you'll bounce back.
That said, Silver Fox is right - this should not be about blame. The overwhelming opinion of the Canberra event is that it was a very well run marathon - I know my only negative aspect of the event was my contribution! - and I've no doubt that if the marshalls involved, and Dave Cundy, could go back in time and change what happened, they would. The last thing they would want is for a high profile participant to end up not running the full course, no matter the circumstances. I'm sure the Race Directors are working hard to ensure that there is never a repeat. The key thing is that everyone involved learns from it and moves forward.
...and in your case, LL, that should involve moving forwards over 50k for another Australian Age Record!"
- Not listening in on the discussion between yourself and the Race Director, I can't comment on what was said, but I know I speak for a lot of people when I say that you have a lot of admirers at CR who would want to see you out there in May at the SMH Half, and where ever else your running takes you. I know how devastated I was to hear what happened - I can't imagine how it must feel to have had that happen. Character is defined by how we come back from these set-backs - you've proven before that you are strong and can bounce back from these.
Craig
LL - I know this will not really help, but please be aware in my eyes (and probably many others) you are a Champion no matter what happens regarding the official time & distance!
ReplyDeleteI hope to meet you one day and the only way for that to happen is for you to continue running, so get back into when you are ready and continue smiling, because that is when you will feel your best!
Regards
Stuart M
Lucky Legs,
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear of your miss direction on the course on Sunday.You conquered Macquarie Pass, so I believe you can get over this and move forward. I want to see you back blogging and running again. You inspire everyone on CR to keep running. Go for it!
Norma, it is only now that I can put fingers to keyboard after hearing of the tragic situation.
ReplyDeleteI still have a gnawing hole in my gut when thinking of it, which must pale to how you feel.
Everything others have said already need not be repeated, however we share these sentiments.
You have a large Cool Running family who love you greatly.
*hugs* I've been thinking about you over the last few days, hoping you were doing okay. We're all here for you in whatever way we can be.
ReplyDeleteMaybe the best revenge on all the problems with the race directors and marshalls is, despite everything, to come back with a fantastic new PB next year!
Either way, I completely admire your integrity and restraint in the way you're dealing with this. You are an immensely inspiring lady, both on and off the track!
Keep your chin up and we're thinking of you :)
Hannah